No one questions the importance of building relationships in a person’s or an organization’s success. Despite this, many leaders are too casual about making it happen. Leadership falls on a continuum—from being aloof and maintaining a safe distance to being an inspirational leader who makes people feel seen and heard. Take a moment to assess where you fall on this continuum, and then use the quick assessment at the end of this blog to validate your answer.
Building connections within teams and across functional areas is the responsibility of every leader. However, blind spots and competing priorities often get in the way. Today’s story illustrates how one associate overlooked the importance of connection and goodwill in their leadership effectiveness.
The Story – Why Aren’t People Doing What I Tell Them?
When I was a divisional VP, I had both direct reports and dotted-line support team members. For context, the dotted-line employees reported to a VP responsible for the perishable and grocery areas. These individuals were essential partners, offering product and merchandising expertise. They kept my team informed about their areas and provided invaluable support for store openings and remodels. Despite their official reporting structure, I considered them part of my team, and they attended my quarterly leadership meetings.
At one of these meetings, Craig (not his real name), my produce merchandiser, asked to speak with me during the lunch break. Craig had been in his role for about six months—roughly the same time I had been in mine. He expressed concern that he wasn’t contributing fully to the success of my produce departments. Craig was responsible for two divisions and claimed that in the other division, he was having a big impact. When I asked what made the difference, he said that in the other division, people listened to him and followed his recommendations. However, in my division, he often felt ignored or met with resistance.
My Reaction
I thanked Craig for sharing his concerns and assured him that we needed him at full capacity to help turn our stores around. At the time, we were losing money, sales were slipping, and the possibility of closing stores was real. I asked Craig what I could do to help him be more effective in his role. He suggested that I reinforce his position with my directors and district managers (DMs), emphasizing his authority as a representative of ‘corporate.’
I told him I could do that, but first, I had a couple of questions for him. I asked if he had spent time visiting stores with my directors or DMs. He admitted that he hadn’t due to a busy schedule but planned to do so. I encouraged him to make this his first step.
I then asked why he hadn’t scheduled time to drive stores with me, so I could better understand him and his approach. He assumed I was too busy adjusting to my new role. This assumption led me to offer another perspective on how he could be more effective.
I explained that his success in the other division likely stemmed from having worked there for ten years—he had built relationships and credibility with their leadership. Right or wrong, he lacked that credibility with my leadership team, leading to resistance. I asked him to meet with each of my directors and schedule time to visit stores with them before our two-day meeting ended. I also asked him to schedule a ride-along with me within the next two weeks.
I concluded our conversation by telling Craig that if, after spending quality time with my three directors, nothing changed, I would have a discussion with them. I encouraged him to actively listen to my directors before offering solutions. Craig agreed, acknowledging that he hadn’t invested enough time getting to know my team.
He followed through, and unsurprisingly, things improved quickly. That was a good thing because turning a struggling division around requires everyone contributing at full power.
Key Takeaways
1. When in Doubt, Start a Conversation
In times of stress and isolation, starting a conversation is always a good idea. Kudos to Craig for speaking up—our discussion was the catalyst for change. In retail, driving stores together is a great way to build relationships and get things done. When you feel neglected, stuck, or lost, initiate a conversation.
2. Lead Like a Person, Not a Position
Craig believed his role as a representative of ‘corporate’ should be enough to gain compliance. While hierarchy provides power, it doesn’t build trust or credibility as effectively as personal connection does.
3. When New in a Role, Focus on People First, Not Tasks
In The First 90 Days, Michael D. Watkins advises new leaders to resist diving into tasks and quick wins. Instead, he suggests prioritizing relationships first. Like Craig, many new leaders make the mistake of not investing enough time in building connections.
4. Understand the Nuances of Dotted-Line Reporting
If you work in an environment with both direct and dotted-line reporting, understanding expectations is crucial. Craig would have benefited from knowing how I expected him to interact with my team. While dotted-line structures serve a purpose, they can be confusing if roles and expectations aren’t clear.
Relationship Strength Assessment
Use this assessment to evaluate the strength of your key relationships:
- Identify the ten most important people to your success and rank them from 1st (most important) to 10th (least important).
- From that list, rank the quality of your relationship with each person from 1st (strongest) to 10th (weakest).
- Identify and prioritize three people with whom you want to improve your relationship.
Building trust and credibility takes time, but it starts with a conversation. No leader succeeds alone—strong relationships are the foundation of effective leadership. Take the time to connect, listen, and invest in the people around you. The results will speak for themselves.
If you enjoyed today’s blog, check out my podcast covering all things HR and Organizational Development at:
https://bobnjoyce.fireside.fm
See you soon!
Bob Stapleton
Breakthru 
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