One of the most important leadership behaviors I learned over my 35-year career was getting clear about my intention. Too often, we navigate life like a branch drifting downstream, carried by the current with little control over our direction. Similarly, when we let circumstances dictate our actions, we risk ending up with unintended outcomes. As leaders, this is a dangerous trap—allowing instinct rather than intention to guide us.

Getting clear about intention isn’t easy. It requires a deliberate pause, whether before taking action or in the heat of the moment, to ask: “Given what’s happening right now, what is my intended outcome?”

Making It Practical

This may sound theoretical, so let me illustrate with a couple of everyday examples before sharing today’s story:

• Parenting: Being a parent is one of life’s hardest jobs. When my child did something wrong, my first instinct was often to yell—a reaction like the branch in the river. But when I paused to consider my desired outcome, my response became more measured: still firm, but constructive.
• Driving in Traffic: When merging in a construction zone, I follow the rules and comply early. Yet, some drivers wait until the last moment to merge, passing those who followed instructions. My instinct is to block them out of frustration. But when I consider my true intention—to get through the jam without conflict—I choose to slow down and yield. (I’ll admit, this isn’t always easy for me!)

A Lesson from Leadership

Now, for today’s story.

On my very first day as Vice President of Operations at Food Lion, I was traveling with a seasoned VP to get oriented to my new role. We planned to visit one of my stores unannounced (see Being Batman’d in Blog #1) and walk through it, with him leading the way and sharing insights.

It was a Thursday, a day when the store should have been well-stocked and prepared for the busy weekend. But as soon as we walked in, we knew the store was in rough shape—low stock levels, poor product quality, cleanliness issues, and subpar customer service. Our original plan quickly shifted into crisis mode (aka, getting caught in the currents).

We found the store manager, who was understandably in shock—meeting his new VP for the first time under the worst possible circumstances. What followed was a tough, humiliating store walk, with heavy demands placed on the manager and his team for immediate corrective action. We also called the district manager, instructing him to get to the store ASAP to “right the ship.”

Afterward, I felt uneasy. I had fallen into the checker-checking-the-checker trap (described in Blog #3), where blame and shame took center stage instead of learning and improvement.

A Shift in Approach

At the end of the visit, I took a moment to gather my thoughts and reassess my approach. I asked myself: How do I want to show up as a leader in my stores? What impact do I want to leave behind?

I pulled the store manager aside into his office. At this point, I suspect he thought I was going to fire him. Instead, I asked him:

“Based on what just happened, what do you think I think of you as a store manager?”

He responded that he assumed I thought he was incompetent and should probably be fired. I told him I expected that answer—but that he was wrong. Given his tenure and prior success, I knew he was a good manager who had simply been caught on a bad day. I assured him that my opinion of him would not be based on this single moment, but rather on what happened going forward. I then offered to revisit his store at a later time to check in on his progress. He accepted the offer and thanked me for the conversation.

Intentions That Changed Everything

Had I stayed in crisis mode, this conversation—and its impact—never would have happened. But by setting clear intentions, I achieved several key outcomes:

• Leading with respect, not fear. I wanted to establish that I would not lead through intimidation.
• Encouraging ownership. My goal was to foster well-run stores where managers took pride in their work.
• Inspiring teams. I wanted my store visits to motivate every associate to be their best.
• Making people feel valued. I aimed to ensure my team felt heard and understood.

I had a similar conversation with the district manager, making it clear that my expectation was for him to support and guide his managers—not just give them a kick in the pants.

And if you think the story of these conversations didn’t spread quickly through the division, then you’ve never worked in retail! Word traveled fast, and soon it was clear that I was going to be very different from what they had experienced in the past.

The Long-Term Impact

As for the store manager in this story, we became close over time. His store was near our corporate headquarters, so I visited frequently with work colleagues. Unsurprisingly, his store remained in great shape—whether he knew I was coming or not.

I have much more to share about intentionality in future blogs, but I’ll close by saying how fortunate I was that my first day on the job played out the way it did.

If you enjoyed today’s blog, check out my podcast covering all things HR and OD at:

https://bobnjoyce.fireside.fm

See you soon!

Bob Stapleton